- Miss Stripe, I’ve been with my partner for about 4 months. Sometimes they reference previous hookups and sort of crazy sexual things they’ve done in the past. When this happens, I feel like I’m not enough, especially because I’m not as experienced as them. Is it wrong for me to feel this way about this? How do I address this without sounding jealous or insecure?
If your partner is having sex with you, they choose you! Although, it is not a crime to have feelings of insecurity arise if your partner is constantly bringing up past partners. It’s totally okay to be insecure, but the only way to work through this self-doubt is to communicate with your partner. There is clearly a perceived gap in experience between the two of you. Does your partner’s tone indicate that they want more from you? Also, have you considered that because it’s early in the relationship, your partner may be trying to impress you? Perhaps they are just as unsure and inexperienced.
- A few days ago, I got rejected from my top grad school. I put in all my effort trying to get in and didn’t get accepted. Though I applied to several schools, I really don’t see myself going to them. Should I wait around for this school or continue my education elsewhere?
Here is the question you should consider: did you get funding? If another school gave you a sufficient amount of money you should consider pursuing your education there. If finances aren’t an issue, consider where you think you will be most happy socially and geographically. Overall, if you only got into programs that you’re not feeling like are a good fit, you shouldn’t go at this time.
- I have a crush on someone in my friend group. We’re affectionate with each other, spend alone time together and text each other all the time. I’m scared that if I share how I feel, it won’t be reciprocated and will ruin our friendship. With female friendships, it’s really hard to know. Should I initiate the possibility of being more than friends?
Do you mean your homoerotic friendship that feels more like a relationship than a friendship? Every single Bennington friend group is incestual. Don’t worry about it. We are only here for four years. Get drunk and make out at a party. Be bad. If you do it now and shit hits the fan, the awkward period will be mostly taken up by the summer. Now is the perfect time to act.
- Miss Stripe. How do I know if the person I like has community dih?
If this is a straight man at Bennington College, it is. Matter of fact, it’s a man at Bennington, it is. You have to unburden yourself with that worry. That’s part of the enlightening world that happens at college. Match this person’s freak…
- My friend has started dating someone who I approved of at first but now I’m unsure of. It seems recently that they are controlling and rude towards my friend. My friend also has barely been going to class or doing their work. Am I in a place to say anything? If so, what should I say?
It can get thorny especially when you liked your friend’s partner at first. Protest with a lot of empathy and compassion for your friend. Skipping classes, not doing work and isolating them from their friends are tell-tale signs of abuse and control. If your friend is being treated poorly, it’s definitely your place as their friend to step in. To foster a community is inconvenient and you’re gonna have to be comfortable making sure that your friend is safe. Talk to them, and if they won’t listen to reason? Consider an intervention with your other friends and people close to them.
- Dear Miss Stripe, I am internally shattered at the thought of my senior friends graduating. Everyone from the person I room with to my coworkers are seniors. It’s hard to imagine Bennington without them. How do I remedy this? How can I be happy for my besties but validate my feelings?
It’s totally valid to be sad, but all good things come with change. They may have other things going on but you won’t lose contact with them. Adopt some freshmen. If you want someone your own age, chat up someone in your 4000-level classes. And most importantly JOIN THE LENS!!! Being a part of The Bennington Lens means you meet new people and go to campus events, all of which will help you rebuild your community!
- I a gay guy who just turned 21 and I haven’t dated anyone. I have had crushes before but I have never received love back. I am so scared that I’ll be single forever. I think I should just stop saying I am gay. What’s the point of sexuality when you can’t fall in love with anyone?
Log off of Reddit. Log off of Twitter. Delete your Hinge that you scroll endlessly on and never match with anyone on. You’re experiencing a queer canon event I fear. Being gay opts you out of the traditional timeline, you are right where you need to be. Detach yourself from any expectations that convince you to lose your virginity by a certain time. Don’t compare yourself to those who are religiously on Grindr. We know this is an extremely LGBTQIA+ college, but realistically most of the queer sex being had on this campus is lesbian sex!
If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? – Rupaul
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